Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's official drugs can't kill me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
