Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
