It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
