Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
