I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
