your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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