I wanna bring you to show and tell
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
