dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
