youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
