I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he was CRYING into my vagina
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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