I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
