We named our party play list daddy issues
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
