Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
