TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
