i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
