i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
