Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
