What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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