how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
