We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
