i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
