North Korea, Best Korea!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just high enough for therapy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
