Do you still have your period?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
