you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
