Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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