Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
