you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
