with your own penis?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
