It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
