maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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