i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Success! We fucked roommates!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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