he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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