We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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