just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my shit smells like andre
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
