I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize