He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
