I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize