so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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