"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize