We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
