Christians are straight up FREAKS
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
