hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
