I think I won the penis lottery.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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