i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
