I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
