Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
either way he was missing a nipple.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
