I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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