i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize