There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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