Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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