If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
