he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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