haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had to cum in my sink.
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