next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just found a bag of teeth...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
