AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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