I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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