I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
