Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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